Saturday Evening Post

Get it? Because it’s Saturday evening?

Last night I was pretty frustrated with myself. Two days and almost no writing. I’ve gotten to the point where I start to get a little squirrely if I don’t write every day. But this is my son’s last week of Summer Vacation, and not a very great summer vacation at that. Last summer, we went to hot springs and swimming and visited grandparents and so many other things to fill his mind with new experiences and broaden his horizons. This year, as all of us know, we blew through Spring and are finding ourselves at the end of summer vacation without having done much other than sit at home and gain weight.

So for the last several weeks, we have been using our time together to ride bikes, go places, spend time together, and not play video games as much as he would like. Much to his frustration and disappointment. $45 at a farm supply store got us inner tubes a few weeks ago, and since then, we have been hitting several places along the river, tubing! It gets us out into the sun, it gives us a chance to exercise, and we don’t have so spend much money, other than gas and snacks for the trip.

This week we did a number of things, which I will write about on my travel blog. Unfortunately we have been spending so much time together and I have put my focus on getting him on a river or a bike lately that I don’t get a lot of time to write. Usually after he falls asleep. The barrier I am running into though is by then, I am tired. If I start writing at 11:00pm, then I know that my brain will continue to keep writing until about 2 or 3am. Then we have to get up, I have to feed us, and the whole process starts all over again. I don’t have the luxury of writing all night in a cool, quiet house when he is around, so I tend to play more with him and work more when it is just me.

I didn’t work much at all for the last few nights, and to my mental state, it shows. The other night my brain decided to work, but it didn’t produce anything. It just fretted over structure and which chapter would come next. I still didn’t have any answers. Then, yesterday, a really bad burn on my right hand delayed my writing for late afternoon and the evening. Just a reminder: if you are using a steel skillet as a broiler pan, just remember it will probably be very hot even a few minutes after you pull it out of the oven. Use an over mitt to pick it up. Not your bare hand.

Raw aloe does help. But it only does so much.

Last night I was up really late, just scrolling through social media, then reading a little bit. I finally fell asleep at about 3:30am and woke up at 10am. I had a series of nightmares which are pretty common to me…and BOOM, that was it! This was the next chapter I needed to write! This was the transition in the story! I picked up my phone and went into Notes and just started Writing!

Tonight, after a cat nap post-inner tubing again, I sat down to visit with a couple friends online, and once they faded out (as people usually do when you are visiting on Messenger), I decided to transcribe notes from my phone into Scrivener. As it turns out, I had six or seven files to move over from the last few days. Mostly little snippets of dialog or a theme for a scene. But the chunk that I wrote this morning was 1600 words. Boom. An hour’s worth of work using just my thumbs on a Notes app.

Today I actually feel good about the writing.

There are some days I feel like the book is demanding that it be written. These sleepless nights are usually the confrontation between an active mind and an exhausted body. In my case, the mind usually wins, but the body is useless and painful when it doesn’t get sleep at night. Sometimes the boredom of solitude gets to be a little too much. There is also the problem of money and what to do when you are looking at quickly running out of it. I have to heed to call to write and put the words down. I can’t worry about structure and plotting and all that because that kind of thinking is actually getting in the way of how the story is asking to be written.

It’s weird as hell.

Writing tonight

Today I beat the hell out of myself in regards to the writing. I’ve been a little rusty, what with my mom coming up to visit for a few days. Instead of working on the book, I succumbed to the temptation of hanging out with my mom and my son. We explored Ikea, went on a few walks, and made the most of our time visiting. I didn’t do as much writing as I had hoped.

The week began with me taking Monday to do a 18.5 mile bike hike around Lake Dillon. Tuesday was spent being sore and sleeping. Today, I slept a lot too, but mostly from depression. Isolation crept in and maybe I was feeling a little hungover from having company all week.

Tonight though, I rallied and excluding this blog post, I wrote 4,000 words on the novel. Tonight’s chapter was very personal and I was glad I dug deep and got the words down. That story will fade eventually, and even though the scene I wrote is based on one dear to my heart, in time, it will be gone. It was such a wonderful memory that I couldn’t help but put it to the page.

It was about a night in June that could never be repeated. A night that taught me that there was still such a thing as magic and my romatic side throws it in my face all the time and says “See!”

It felt good to write, however sad it turned out. But the words are down and I can share that moment with anyone who cares to join me in my wanderings through memory. At least I have that. I can still hear the music. I can still hear the voices. The chill of the air. The magic of new beginnings. I get to keep it.

And I will.

Tuesday?

I think today was Tuesday.

I got up early and my son and I took a ten mile bike ride. We had a lot of fun, but we are saddle sore. I might post about it on the neglected travelblog site tomorrow. The afternoon was spent refueling ourselves with Red Robin burgers and a nap. The weather was beautiful all day today, never rising above 80 degrees.

I binged Undone on Amazon Prime today too, which was an excellent series, shot in rotoscope, so it’s more like a cartoon with a lot of detail than a live-action or animated show. Interesting. Compelling characters. Some sad and some laugh out loud moments.

We cleaned the house and I sat down to read some more “Wild” but wound up putting it down to write. I dropped about 1600 words on the novel. These were hard words to get down, but they finally are on the page.

Lately I’ve been having a moral dillemna about what to write. I’m sure some won’t be happy with the story I have to tell, since they could easily see themselves in it. But these are the stories I have. I feel like they are the results of mental photographs I have taken throughout my life, only these images have been driving me crazy and the only way to quiet them is to write them down.

Today was Tuesday. Unlike the Tuesday that I wrote about, which was nothing more than a Groundhog Day of repetition and numb descent into mundaety, today was vastly different. I got to spend time with my son. I got things done. Now I am tired and hoping to sleep.