Overwhelmed

Today I have sat at my desk going through the files for my Work in Progress and I have just been overwhelmed by how much there is left to write for the story. In Stephen King’s book, On Writing, he talks about how sometimes writing is just shoveling shit from a seated position. I’m really feeling that today.

In a weird way, going through my files is procrastination. I have some chapters that I need to work on and honestly, I have just hit a wall of I Don’t Wanna. There is still so much ground to cover and why can’t I just hand over a bunch of garbage to some editor and they can put the book together for me? Man. I feel really rough right now and I have really been bad with the distractions today.

As you are reading this, you are seeing the fruits of one of my efforts to distract myself.

I have sections that need written, but sometimes the content is pretty…hard. I don’t always want to delve into those places in my mind, so I distract myself. I avoid. Man, I could write the book on avoidance. Maybe I should!

Anyway, we are all capable of doing the hard work and getting it done, but it just means sometimes we have to eat the elephant one bite at a time. We have to keep moving forward one small step at a time, one foot in front of the other. Today is a day I really have to push myself to do this. Today I want to do things like write new fun scenes, which is a lot of fun, but unfortunately it means neglecting the ones that need to be written which aren’t as fun. They are telling the story, but they aren’t what I want to disappear into.

Anyway, enough distractions.

It’s time to get to work. Today writing feels very much like work. And of course there is the burning question of what if it sucks? What if all this effort means that at the end of it it was for nothing? What if nobody wants to buy this book? What if nobody wants to read it? I’ll have wasted all this time. Opening up my heart for this project only to be considered…unworthy of even being published. Like my story isn’t interesting enough for that.

That’s the shit that stings.

Unclutter

As I might have mentioned in earlier posts, my writing process has a lot to do with eliminating all other distractions and then being able to proceed with an unburdened mind. Today, my Monday after sending my son back to his mom’s for the week, consisted mainly of uncluttering my mind. Was I successful? Not especially, but at least I won’t have as many distractions tomorrow.

My list of things to do includes the following:

  • Read up on books to build a better travel writing website
  • Approach more clients, editors, and leads
  • Write some pitches
  • Plan an itenary for writing trips
  • Work on the book
  • Dishes
  • Update LinkedIn profile

None of that got accomplished today. These are some of what were accomplished:

  • Cooked roasted chicken for lunch
  • Replaced office deadbolt
  • Hung curtains on back door
  • Washed and re-hung wrinkled curtains in bedroom
  • Installed a barrel bolt on door leading to the dock (yes, my house has a dock)
  • Took the dog out for several walks
  • Sent some emails
  • Jury duty postponement form
  • Chatted with friends and got caught up
  • Beat self up about various things

Now that all of those things are out of the way, I can expect to have a productive week.