Nobody will read this

For whatever reason, the most hits I get on this blog is about 25. It’s frustrating, because it’s nice to write, but it’s better to be read. I’ve seen sites where someone posts a pic of a bird and a pun and they have a shit ton of readers.

Facebook limits the exposure you get too. Traffic is very low from Facebook, unless you pay for a boost. It’s a gimmick. The boosts don’t work.

Lately to me, Facebook is frustrating. It’s a waste of time. Same with Instagram, TikTok, and Pinterest. I have a lot of work to do, and I’ve been using social media as a convenient excuse to avoid it. Why? Because the book scares the hell out of me. It’s so much. And I’m closing in on the first draft and I know I’ve just got upwards of five more drafts once it is done.

Imagine painting your ceiling with two 1/2″ artist brushes and you’ll see what a first draft is. Because once it’s done, you have to do it all over again.

Today I sat in a hot springs and had a long meditative afternoon with myself. I’m getting in my own way and after thinking through all the turmoil in my life right now, some things fell into place. I have a story to finish. Self care is crucial. So is just sitting in your feelings and working through them. Time for another chapter.

The book is demanding to be written right now, which means I’m not going to be on social media if I can help it. I might not even be sleeping all that much. I’m going to listen to the story and make sure it is true and told with conviction, honesty, and love.

Not that I will be missed on social media.

Day Three of No Facebook

It’s laughable that I’m treating social media like a substance addiction.  But I don’t know if it is all that much of a stretch.  In many ways, the prevalence of Facebook is said to have been influencing the last few Presidential elections, that algorithms and how information is distributed among groups of friends, lending itself to bias is how this is being orchestrated.

Twitter is the voicebox of a Presidency that seemingly has no filter, no restraint, and is making a lot of things worse, because the information is coming directly from the mind of someone, without delay, who should be one of the people on this planet who take a long, long time to think before they speak.

People’s lives are being affected in ways that they have never been before.  The worst thing about social media, the internet, information, etc. is there are no ethics behind any of it.  People can take your picture, post it online for anyone to see without your permission.  Your words can be removed from context, even private conversations, and shared with others in damaging ways.  Facebook itself has become a resource lawyers use in court to influence the rulings of judges, in civil and criminal cases.  Posts to Instagram have resulted in job terminations, jail time, and worse.

Twitter is often used to communicate secretly, out in the open as it were, for protesters, terrorists, and even law enforcement who counter activity originated there.  It used to just be for flash mobs of people swarming train stations to do the Thriller dance.

Net neutrality would be a wonderful thing, that is if anyone had any idea what responsibility was in our world these days.  Electronics, social media, texting, etc. are rewriting how people interact socially. How children spend their time, socialize, respond to stimuli outside their own heads.

Due to what has become 24 hour a day bullying, suicides are on the rise from social media.  It used to be you could just go home from school if someone was tormenting you.  Now you carry them with you in your pocket wherever you go.  And if not them, their friends, your mutual friends, and complete strangers looking to dog pile you.

Kids are sending naked pictures of themselves to each other. There’s an app that will help them do that.  It’s called Snapchat.  Everything “goes away” after it is viewed.  Right…idiots.

The proliferation of easy to get pornography is so much more different now than 25 years ago.  Not only does the easy access to porn mean that the audience of watchers can have greater exposure to this kind of addiction, but also I feel that violence towards women, especially in regards to rape and murder, are spurred on by people being eager to act out these oftentimes violent theatrics.

YouTube algorithms are influencing teens in ways that are making them question ideas of gender, possibly needlessly so.  Combine that with the echo chamber of nearly anonymous peer groups spread across the country, and you have a recipe for ultimate confusion.

So, does it cheapen the idea of addiction to say that social media is bad?  That Facebook was slowly causing me to slip into a state of depression?  I mean, it’s not booze, pills, opioids, or meth, it’s just the computer, right?  Who can’t just step away from a computer?

What’s my point?  I’m not trying to get attention for battling some kind of addiction. Honestly, I know it’s my own damned fault if I’m on social media and wasting time on it.  I don’t want to pull out the victim card just yet.  I’m not looking for pity.  What I do know if the world is a lot quieter without it.  I’m getting more done.  In spite of the reflex whenever I get bored to see what my Facebook friends are up to, I don’t really miss it too much.

Last night, I made changes to a chapter in my book.  I wrote five paid blogs.  I did some reading.  I went on a walk for an hour and put in 12,000 steps.  I watched a movie.  Facebook is a massive waste of time.  In some ways, it was a nice place to escape.  But when you are escaping your life, you aren’t living it.  Anymore than you are living your life at the bottom of a glass, needle, mirror, or hot piece of foil. Or card table, porn site, refrigerator, or cross-fit class.  Addictions come in all shapes and sizes.  The way to recognize them is would you rather be doing that than anything else?  What is it costing you?

I think I’m at the preachy part of my recovery.  It’s a nice way to convince myself that changes like these are good.  It’s also a good way to be held accountable for my decisions.  It’s harder to ignore these decisions when you write them down.

Maybe I wasn’t addicted to social media so much as I was comfortable with the routine?  Well, what I know is the routine left me feeling empty and worthless.  That’s not healthy.  It made me covet lives of people, things they have that I won’t, it made me less of the man I want to be.  It left me feeling alone.

The funny thing is yesterday, I chatted with about half a dozen people, having actual conversations in person, in text, etc. outside of social media and it felt great!  Eventually I realized I had a lot of work to do and had to excuse myself.

People are still out there.  You don’t need social media. In fact we might find ourselves closer to each other without it.  In no time at all will it no longer be Life without Facebook.  It will just be “life.”

Life without Facebook: Day two and progress

Second day without Facebook and I have decided to document some of the changes going on in my life.

Keeping in touch

Technically, I did post yesterday, but it was only the link to this blog and to announce that I was leaving Facebook.  I immediately got comments like “I don’t believe you are leaving.  You’ll be back.”  I did get some messages directly from some friends.  One buddy of mine, whom I know in real life as well, sent me his updated contact information so we can stay in touch via phone or text, which I will definitely be doing.  He isn’t on it much these days himself, since he cruises around the country in an RV, and seems to be happier being a nomad and catching fish most days.

Other than a couple people messaging me to persuade me from leaving Facebook, my phone was relatively quiet all night. And by quiet, I mean it seems like I’m already off the grid.

Where everybody knows your name…

A couple others pleaded me to stay. In a weird way, I was right about the bar scene theory.  It was nice to be missed, but at this point, I know that Facebook isn’t good for me.  For a while it was my only social outlet.  When I was married, my contact with people outside the home was extremely limited, but with Facebook, I could talk to people all around the world, uninhibited. It gave me perspective and showed me that my life wasn’t exactly happy.  Especially after LiveJournal was bought by the Russians and everyone left it like rats from a sinking ship.  But things are different now.  I am different.  I don’t need it.

Reflexive behavior

Like someone trying to kick cigarettes, I have found myself automatically typing the URL address for Facebook in my browser.  Since I’m logged out, it just brings me to the login page and my routine comes to a screeching halt.  It’s the fixation, just like a smoker who keeps putting pens in their mouth, or keeps reaching for their lighter, even when it’s not there.  My substitution has been Instagram, but it doesn’t have the same hold on my mind as Facebook, so I don’t linger on it.  Sometimes I will see a pretty vacation site and it will inspire me to get off my butt and get some writing in.

The other things I do to keep busy

A good substitute for clicking on the dopamine drip button known as social media has been writing.  Which luckily for me, I am already a writer, so win-win! Yesterday, I wrote five paid blogs, a blog here on my personal site, and I finished a chapter in the book.  I also did ten miles on the bike at the gym and got 10,000 steps in. And I watched the Justice League movie on HBO. And I read the entire Book of Esther in my continuing advance through the Bible. Because I am told, it’s like any other book and should be read cover to cover.  Next up is a book about a guy named Job.  So far, he has lots of sheep and camels and children, just chillin’ in the town of Uz.  Sounds like things are looking up for my boy Job!