I didn’t need to be reminded how alone I was.
I didn’t need someone cheering me on from the nosebleed section.
I didn’t need to be fixed.
I didn’t need “good morning handsome” or goodnights.
I didn’t need total allegiance.
I didn’t need to be reminded of my shortcomings,
because believe me, they are always in the back of my mind.
I didn’t need to be told I was strong. Sometimes it was nice to not have to always be.
I didn’t need to be right all the time. I have a nasty knack for that.
I didn’t need someone else to consider when it came to my daydreams.
I didn’t need to be weighed on a scale with all the others.
I didn’t need to learn someone else’s middle name or their favorite color or meet the parents.
I didn’t need a reminder that nothing lasts forever.
Or those cheshire cat memories of a fading smile which are always the last to go.
I didn’t need to know what your chapstick tasted like or the sound of your hair as I brushed it with my rough hands. Everything else would always have been rough in comparison.
I didn’t need that gut ache from laughing until we cried.
I didn’t need that panic attack when I thought of life without you.
I didn’t need any of them. I wanted them. I was grateful to have shared some.
But now they are gone.
I didn’t need
Hope.