I’vd mentioned it enough times, but I think it bears repeating. My work in higher education for nearly 20 years did not do my work ethic any good. I saw a TikTok this morning that really said what I have suspected for a long time. A young woman said she waited tables for ten years and got an office job. There she was bored to death because she basically showed up to work and didn’t do crap all day long. Entire offices are filled with these people!
I remember many days that co-workers would take a two hour lunch. It’s not like they were even missed because they didn’t do anything the whole time. One lady read Entertainment Magazine online all damn day. I wasn’t much better. I got paid around $40k per year to do Facebook at the end. It’s not something I’m exactly proud of.
So the reason I’m writing today is to talk about finding a new rhythm, which is a lot harder to do than you might think. Lately I have found that I hit a wall at about 3 or 4. At that point, I usually have to drink something with caffeine or take a nap. Sometimes both. Today, I think I found a way around that wall. I went for a walk. I decided I had a craving for spam and sticky rice, so I walked to the grocery store to get some. When I got home, that fog had cleared of not wanting to do anything else but nap and I was able to focus and sit down and start working on edits.
This need to sleep, I’m pretty sure, is linked to a couple of different things. One of which is some situational depression. I become hypo-arroused by stress. Which then turns into insomnia at night when my cortisol levels are through the roof. The other factor to consider is less exercise, and maybe even caffeine withdrawals, mean that I’ve only got so much in the tank. The big problem with this is I have a lot of stuff to do and when my day is dictated by blackout level naps, I am not getting enough of these things done.
I also took vitamins today which gave me a huge boost of B6 and B12. I’ve been thinking about more B vitamins lately not just for the energy, but I’ve read that they also help your body repel mosquitoes. In the next few weeks that is going to be something I will definitely need.
So, tonight I’m going to edit the book. It looks more and more like I’m going to have to self-publish, which in my case means I’ll have to put in some extra effort to edit. It would be awesome to have an editor, since I feel I’m too close to the work, but it is something I can do. It just means months and months of drafting I hoped to not have to do.
One more complaint/thought. I think I’m fighting some ADHD too, which I can blame on the old job and social media. I watched Stranger Things and honestly I think season 4 has completely slept on the story. I also started watching Midnight Mass on Netflix and though I want to like it, I find myself bored. I turned it off after the first episode. I will probably watch more, but I really didn’t think it was all that great. I finished Ricky Gervais’s series After Life recently and though I really liked the story, I saw that each episode followed the same formula to the point of being distracting. Have books and tv and movies just gotten that lazy?
What the hell am I even working towards?