A day of rest

I’ve been juggling a lot at one time in the last few days and definitely have a “burning the candle at both ends” vibe going on. It’s nearly 11pm and I didn’t get edits done today, but I did write for pay. Which I need to do. If I didn’t need the money, and didn’t need to not blow money, I would have gone on a road trip today. The plan was to work on the book. Maybe I will still. I just finished a coffee and have a little steam left.

Not writing has been killing me. There’s a big difference between writing content for rehabilitation centers or spray coating companies and doing the work I need to do. Last night I watched the second half of the movie Franklyn (I’m a big Eva Green fan) and the whiskey I had while relaxing turned to sugar and I was wide awake until about 3am. I can’t do nightcaps I guess. I was able to write a little bit of character description for the book, which was beautiful and clean.

Today, after writing 1000 words of copy, I did dishes, caught up with a friend I hadn’t spoken with for a few weeks, and then decided to have a little downtime to watch Finding Forrester. Such a neat movie and really encapsulates a lot about writing, even though the main character is a bit too perfect. It’s the last of Sean Connery’s really good roles, in my opinion. It was hard to believe the movie was made in 2000. How the world has changed since then, and not necessarily for the better. Twenty-two years.

Sean’s gone, Anna Paquin is middle-aged, and I’ve got more grey in my beard. Hell, back then I didn’t even have a beard. But I did have hair.

They always say the years will flash by in the blink of an eye. One day you are 25 and have aspirations to be a writer, and twenty-two years later, you’re still chasing that dream. Maybe not noticeably closer. Three kids, a divorce, a series of relationship misadventures, and a dog later, I am now 46 and have a slightly better idea of how to get where I want to go. I’m not sure knowing what I do now would have helped me at that age. That’s pretty much what the movie is about anyway. The raw talent of youth meeting the temperment of experience. But you still have to do the work. You have to show up. You have to want it.

And today, I needed to rest.

Tomorrow is Easter Sunday and there will be no eggs or candy or chocolate bunnies this year. No fake plastic grass in a basket. It will be another day. Another Sunday. Life comes and goes in waves. Next Easter might be different, there’s no way of knowing.

Would I go back to 2000?

No. That was an awful year. Plus I kind of like having a smart phone and an internet connection that doesn’t go eerrrrrrr—boingboingboingboing!!!SCRREEEEEEEshhhhhhhh. I was a lot more insecure back then too. Easily led and blown about by every wind. I had a hard time understanding the difference between what I wanted, what I could do, and what I was supposed to do.

I’m still working on that, but at least now I know it’s something I can work on.