Today started off pretty rough. I didn’t get to sleep last night until about 5am, so I got off to a late start this morning. As usual, I just couldn’t sleep. My brain isn’t very nice to me at night. Before I tried to go to bed, I wrote a note to myself: Today you will work on structure.
Yesterday I worked on setting up another writing account on a platform and got sorta stressed out about it. Then I started reading through old blog posts and also chapters in the book. I realized that so much of it is just a jumbled mess. So, today the plan was to go through the book from beginning until as far as I could go and see what I’ve got and what I’m missing. I think I made it through Part 1 of 3. I now know that I have a couple scenes to write. Mostly backstory, flashback, and the like.
A lot of this stuff I haven’t read in over a year.
I feel better about it now, but I didn’t last night. I felt like I was spinning my wheels. Alone. Trudging away in my office mostly forgotten, tinkering with a story that wants to be told. There are moments of temptation when you think you should just say to hell with it and conform to what other people think you ought to be doing. It would be easier. It might not be as fulfilling, but at least you can pay people you owe money to. I guess that’s what happens when you pursue a higher calling.
Today I spent about 8 hours reading through chapters, clearing out notes and redundant scenes and organizing the first part of the book.
Jeez…I just compiled my files…It’s not good. Part One alone is 150,000 words. That is a little disconcerting…fuck.
I guess it isn’t bad considering it is Part One. I guess I sorta got to a point…or it confirms my fears that it is boring and rambling. I’m probably guessing the latter is more accurate. I know first drafts are always crap, but this…this is a little overwhelming. Part one is probably half the book.
I guess I’ll have edits to do, which could shave off quite a bit…maybe around 30%…crap. I think I’m gonna be sick.