Next level imposter sydrome s#!t

Yesterday, I wrote a couple paid blog posts for the agency that I’ve been working through for the last eight or nine years. I’ve been getting a little frustrated with the variety of companies to write for, not to mention the pay. Though I didn’t take the assignment one client wanted someone to transcibe 107 pages of voice to text from a podcast into a two thousand word blog. The pay for this is around $150. That’s not exactly money just lying on the ground waiting to be picked up. I read through some of the transcript and it was not going to be a pleasant experience.

There haven’t been many other viable assignments lately that would be worth the time or brain damage to work on. Plus there are hundreds of other writers to compete with.

I decided to check into another service I found out from a TikTok that I saw. I think this is something that will help my freelancing a lot. The problem I’m facing is that there is a learning curve as well as the fear that comes with it. The Resistance of wondering what happens next. What if I start getting a ton of work and I suck at it? What if I don’t get any work at all?

I have to finish building my profile. Setting my price points and packaging and then working out a better system of managing my time if work does start to come in. There’s a lot to process. Days like today make me miss writing for the sex doll company. At least the work was steady and they paid well.

I’m feeling the Imposter Syndrome weighing heavily on my shoulders today. I did submit a couple pitches today for magazine articles, but the odds of those getting published, much less anyone responding to your query, are not great.

Short writing post for the night

Today was a productive day. I wrote two paid posts and I hope they sell. This afternoon and evening, I wrote 6500 words on the book and I feel good about how it came together. Pretty much a full chapter. An important chapter. One that was frustrating to relive, but also cleansing in a way too.

I feel good about this one.

In a way, the hardest chapters I have had to write have come at a time when I am approaching the end of the book. I think a better writer was needed to write them, and all the rest has improved my skill in many ways. Ways that had to reach the level of skill needed to write these hard chapters.

I’m hoping my brain can shut off well enough to let me sleep tonight.

I also made hummus from scratch tonight.