Doing the work

I’ve been checking the social media on a lot of my friends over the last few days and in spite of the difficulties going on with my own custody battle, I guess I have chosen to lurk and freeload on them. It’s heartening to see families together, going to parties, playing games, wearing the matching PJs, visiting distant relations and all the trimmings. In the past I might have been jealous of these moments and the eternal cry of “Whhhhhyyyyyy can’t that be meeeeee?!”

This season, I choose to use the time I have alone to work and write and do the things I have been called to do. I miss the hell out of my son, and I will remain hopeful that everything will be sorted out in due time. (It helps to let down my guard with good people who have been there to listen, no matter how much of a mess it sounds like–thank you, truly). In the meantime, rather than go into an unhealthy shutdown, I am enjoying seeing everyone’s holidays unfold and my heart is full for them all.

However, today, I wrote a chapter in my book that absolutely beat the hell out of me. Maybe not the lightest thing to do on a Christmas week, but the feelings of nostalgia and bittersweet moments at this time of year are always powerful. So, I chose to use those feelings to work with. Damn, but I found a whole other gear in this story. Silver linings, good readers. Silver linings.

I’m closing in on the end of a first draft, which is exciting. I’ve been working on this book for a little over a year and a half. I wonder if I won’t miss it once that draft is done and I just dive into edits and rewrites. I already had an idea for my next project, which takes place in the lives of the same characters. More of a prequel. I have some technical chapters to write soon for this project which I feel are going to do some interesting things with time and plot and character development. But for now, I have all the dots mapped out and I just need to connect them with story.

I have my ending and in the next few days, I’m going to write it.

For my dear readers who are enjoying the holidays with family, thank you for sharing your pictures and stories on your social media as well as your blogs which I read from time to time. To those who are alone this holiday season, I send you my best wishes and want you to know that these times are hard, but they won’t always be like this. I know it seems like a platitude, but I feel that in my bones. Keep going. Find joy wherever you can and let it fill your heart.

Sometimes just doing the work is enough. Whatever calls you. Whatever fills your buckets.