Yesterday was another court hearing in this long slog of a custody case that has been going on for nearly a year. A year! It’s hard to fathom how much has happened in that time. This year has just flashed by my eyes. There have been many wonderful moments, but also so many hard ones. The custody case being one of those.
But there is more to life than Court, contrary to what the judge and lawyers might think.
In the last year, I have been remodeling a house, writing a book, having new experiences, meeting new and interesting people, working on better boundaries, helping my parents with their lives, going new places, being a dog-dad again (and loving it). I have been published, I have taken my first official press trip, gotten several rejection emails. I have watched the sun set over the Pacific Ocean. I have driven thousands of miles and seen many amazing things. I’ve faced challenges and have fallen flat on my face too. But there have been a few victories here and there.
Life is a series of catharsises and moments of introspective exploration. Lately, I’ve had to just continue to push myself forward in spite of it all. It’s not always fun. Sometimes it really, really sucks. The worst part is that it’s always something. Just when you think you are out of the woods with one thing, something else comes up. You find yourself shaking your fist at the sky and saying “What is this bullshit?!” a lot.
The problem is that it’s always going to be something. It’s always going to be a shitty boss, or a speeding ticket, or a bunch of bureaucratic nonsense, or always coming up short on money, patience, time, sleep, or the right thing you should have said at that moment. Or just not said anything at all. The best we can do is take a long, deep breath and pick up our battle axe and wade back into the fray. Sometimes celebrate our victories or defeats with the beverage of our liking. Whether that be whiskey or YooHoo. (I don’t recommend mixing the two).
Even though life is complex, we are often misunderstood and crave that connection to be seen and heard–and so often we fall short–we get to see things like sunsets, experience dog kisses in the ear, learn a new skill that gives us joy, find true connection with others, feel that relief of telling someone No when it needs to be said, and maybe even finding an extra ten bucks in the pocket of our jeans after a wash. Not all of those things happen all the time, but continuing to keep moving forward makes each one of those extremely likely.
I guess what I’m saying is in spite of the bullshit and drama and difficulties life throws at us, when things go right, they make them so much better.
It’s strage to imagine what next year will bring. This year has been a very balanced Yin and Yang of good and bad. Next year is going to be even better. Heck, tomorrow might be even better. Life is like a page turner of a book and I can’t wait to read what happens next.
Sure it’s always something. But on the other hand, it’s always something!