In our lives, we are told so many times to not let our emotions cloud our judgement, so we pick everything apart. We rationalize. We argue and wrestle with ourselves. Even when our gut is screaming at us. Even when you tell yourself you are just being paranoid. When food stops tasting like anything. When you can’t sleep anymore. When you insist upon yourself that you cannot apply your past experiences with what is happening. When you start making excuses for them.
If something doesn’t feel right, don’t gaslight yourself. If you feel reluctant to ask questions, because of how someone will respond, that is a red flag.
Sometimes things just don’t work out.
You wish they did. You wanted them to. You even prayed about it–a lot. You read between the lines when they talked about “Your adventures” when no longer included “our.” You doubted yourself when you noticed something wasn’t right. When you both stopped listening.
It’s okay to let go.
Even if you will miss them forever.
You just weren’t their person. Maybe you aren’t anybody’s person. Maybe the best thing you can do is to become your own person.
Do what is healthy for you. If you have to block them, block them. If you are fine with seeing their life without you, then I hope it gives you peace. Cutting someone out of your life doesn’t mean you stop caring for them. It just means you are going in a different direction in life and they can’t come with you.
The only thing you can do is wish everything will be all right for them. That a part of you won’t ever stop loving them. You mourn the potential. You mourn the plans. You mourn the memories. The friendship. The intimacy. And how quickly it all begins to fade. But they are just moments. We get to carry them around with us.
Did you know your heart makes a different sound every time it breaks?