Yesterday while waiting in line at Dutch Bros. we watched the young lady behind us take selfies in her car for a good ten minutes solid. From the moment she pulled up behind us to the stoplight on the street in front of Dutch. It was unmistakable what she was doing. The angles. The posing. The coy looks into her phone. That whole “(fill in the blank) hair, don’t care” look. The pouty expressions. The duck lips. The “who me?” the “I’ll have me another coronavirus por favor” pose.

This was a woman possessed.

She must have spent more time on her hair and makeup to take pictures for the Insta than some people spend on their weddings. But contrary to the fact that I am taking the time to write about it, I have to say something about it. Because I’ve seen this kind of behavior SOOOO often working at a university.

Nobody cares about your instagram.

That guy sliding into your DMs? (“Direct messenger” for other people who don’t know or care what that means) He doesn’t care about them either. He’s just someone who wants to get into your pants and waste time on his next conquest.

Other than the risk she poses to other drivers on the road, I guess she wasn’t hurting anybody. Other than cringe-worthy levels of embarrassment on a scale of spilling coffee on your crotch to shitting yourself in an elevator, I would have to say this was up there with being de-pantsed in from of the Bear Valley Girls Soccer Team as a Freshman. *Note how the embarrassment scale is very pants-based.

I have a Facebook and an Instagram account. I really don’t care about either one. Facebook is useful for snarky comments nobody reads and posting recent links to my blog, which nobody reads. Some people maximize the use of these to help out with their social media footprint and self-promotion. I am not a 20 something girl who looks good in leggings and corsets, so the experience is probably not one that is going to do well with my assets. Which are snarky comments. Pithy one-liners. And pictures of me wearing goofy hats or smoking cigars that are going to get me calls from my mother.

I have been thinking of doing a pod-cast recently. I know I won’t ever get to Joe Rogan levels. My GF and and I just watched two of those yesterday. The format fascinates me. It reminds me of sitting around with friends BSing about everything. A long-form platform of communication, which unfortunately has retreated to AM radio where people just blather on about how much they hate the opposing political party.

My problems would be:

  • Equipment
  • Production
  • What would I talk about?
  • Guests…since I don’t get to have conversations with many people in person these days anyway.
  • How do you monetize this whole thing? I like to talk, but if I could get paid for it, that would be cool too.

Anyway, it’s just a thought. It would be sorta like what I am doing here, only with talking. I–like many of you–hate the sound of my own voice on a recording, so that might get old.

Let me know in the comments if you would be interested in listening to a podcast. In the next few months I’m going to have some time on my hands to work on it. Is it as self-aggrandizing as that girl posing in her car? Or is it something else? I’ve seen it go both ways, honestly. Unless they have interesting guests and a compelling conversation, I’m not really a fan for the most part.

One thought on “Selfie-awareness

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